That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
