Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....