My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.