Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.