She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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