I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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