moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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