sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
