Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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