so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
