Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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