Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
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He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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