I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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