I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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