Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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