Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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