is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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