its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
