Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I regularly think about how cool your nickname is

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(818): I regularly think about how cool your nickname is http://tfl.nu/glb5

Replies (3) Good night (1992) Bad night (1114)
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(925): View more from California

I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..

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(925): I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand.. http://tfl.nu/3ekb

Replies (18) Good night (5275) Bad night (618)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.

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(573): I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better. http://tfl.nu/vuqb

Replies (73) Good night (5856) Bad night (780)
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(209): View more from California

I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.

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(209): I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two. http://tfl.nu/goqt

Replies (14) Good night (5140) Bad night (557)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.

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(732): I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them. http://tfl.nu/v4vg

Replies (22) Good night (6666) Bad night (1171)
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(647): View more from Ontario

It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM

(416): View more from Toronto

From?

(647): View more from Ontario

Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...

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(647): It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM (416): From? (647): Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table... http://tfl.nu/hv77

Replies (16) Good night (2383) Bad night (5393)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

God gave us a 4 year grace period.

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(314): Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college? (1-314): God gave us a 4 year grace period. http://tfl.nu/2ues

Replies (29) Good night (3899) Bad night (1151)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...

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(908): Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty... http://tfl.nu/7ob9

Replies (13) Good night (2697) Bad night (1176)
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(817): View more from Texas

he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.

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(817): he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup. http://tfl.nu/cgag

Replies (6) Good night (2588) Bad night (878)
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(850): View more from Florida

Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3

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(850): Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3 http://tfl.nu/b5wj

Replies (7) Good night (3278) Bad night (663)
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(903): View more from Texas

Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.

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(903): Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high. http://tfl.nu/bi94

Replies (6) Good night (1319) Bad night (551)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning

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(416): I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning http://tfl.nu/fy90

Replies (10) Good night (601) Bad night (1097)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil

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(757): I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil http://tfl.nu/9nrx

Replies (7) Good night (969) Bad night (1080)
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(817): View more from Texas

I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.

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(817): I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good. http://tfl.nu/zf93

Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (299)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!

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(262): I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait! http://tfl.nu/9r4q

Replies (10) Good night (2325) Bad night (450)

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