I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention