her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This house was built for laser tag.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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