Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook

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  (850): i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook http://tfl.nu/q3m5
  Replies (39) Good night (5416) Bad night (2449)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.

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  (609): Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night. http://tfl.nu/lzo0
  Replies (21) Good night (5525) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...

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  (612): I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night... http://tfl.nu/eun8
  Replies (6) Good night (2324) Bad night (741)
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  (909): View more from California

  My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.

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  (909): My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up. http://tfl.nu/4jl3
  Replies (5) Good night (2530) Bad night (1443)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.

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  (859): I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there. http://tfl.nu/fp94
  Replies (6) Good night (2086) Bad night (711)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?

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  (+44): I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone? http://tfl.nu/7opu
  Replies (4) Good night (2374) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Totally acceptable.

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  (832): I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro. (1-832): Totally acceptable. http://tfl.nu/y2av
  Replies (7) Good night (2190) Bad night (483)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?

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  (561): I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line? http://tfl.nu/0ivn
  Replies (10) Good night (846) Bad night (1201)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.

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  (479): He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish. http://tfl.nu/o2hu
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (259)
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  (951): View more from California

  Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...

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  (951): Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car... http://tfl.nu/h8rj
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine

  (1-952): View more from Minnesota

  I just got chills

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  (952): What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine (1-952): I just got chills http://tfl.nu/9spt
  Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER

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  (715): THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER http://tfl.nu/jvi1
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?

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  (519): Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night? http://tfl.nu/8brj
  Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF

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  (207): It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF http://tfl.nu/i5py
  Replies (3) Good night (239) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol

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  (804): Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol http://tfl.nu/jehz
  Replies (2) Good night (217) Bad night (747)

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