mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
