And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
