Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
