So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
