I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
