So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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