ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There's a naked man in my car right now.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Drunk is a universal language darling
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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