dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
