If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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