Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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