Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
