lets start a swedish sibling band together
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
