I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I am naked and annoyed.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
