if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
