census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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