Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
