Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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