I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Panties = found
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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