If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
