yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
