am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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