my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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