Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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