'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
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Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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