Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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