So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
