My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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