I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
