True but thats because hes a fetus.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
