I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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