We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
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At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
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I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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