kristin has been a bad kristin
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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