just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
