i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
