Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
