i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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