Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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