Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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