Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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