he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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