Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
