I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
