break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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