I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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